You being you will never be caught on camera, at least on my camera. 

Me being me I will continue to shoot from all angles. 

And maybe when I am done, 50 years from now, cleaning out cupboards, wiping out memories with a tear in my eye, a single picture will fall from the top shelf. A picture not taken by me, but for me. A picture I didn’t recognize for what it was – what I was trying to get my whole life. Maybe it will be a picture of a single flower that I wanted to smell for 50 years, maybe it won’t be but I know I will clutch it to my heart as hard as possible and sigh. 

When I first played the video game doom, it drove me crazy. 

It involved me searching room after room after room, maze after maze – tracing and retracing my steps trying to find the elusive door. 

And when I finally quit, I realised that at the very first turn, I was standing right behind the door. But in trying to search for it, every next step took me further away from it till I was so far away I was lost in a maze of my own making. 

Maybe it is the same with people.