One of the biggest perks of getting married for a man has to be unrestricted boob access. Isn’t it? Call it whatever syndrome but that’s the first thought which crosses every man’s head when he gets hitched. Yayyyy now I can look lick kiss suck fondle cup touch caress grope ogle fuck boobs at any time I want. Not pussy, boobs. Because pussy is celebration, it demands something of us. Boobs are entertainment, boobs are like candy except that they don’t even melt away and end the pleasurable sensation, boobs are like a gift that keeps on giving. Anytime as a woman, you want to thank a man, express gratitude, sympathise with him, win a fight, tease him, just want to see him grin like a dog, or in general lighten up the mood, just throw the bone of boobs at a man. Come tommy, here. Here. No no don’t bite, gentle. No it isn’t doing anything to me yet, you ain’t getting laid, don’t be so dumb, I am thinking of the night’s party – just do your thing and go. And the worst invention known to mankind is the fucking wire they fit in bra cups, like a literal cage. I often ask my partner – what will happen if you won’t wear one once? Who will know? If there’s a top and a jacket and goodness knows what else on it, why is the bloody thing needed? But she never listens to me. I wonder whether other men say the same thing to their partners and I wonder whether their partners listen. I doubt they do, otherwise the market wouldn’t be so big for fancy lingerie. 

So the point is, if you deny your partner boob access, you really are mad at him. What cruel woman does that? And what’s boob access got to do with sex? Sex involves foreplay and anyone who has even a hodor iq knows that in foreplay, never jump to genitals first. Keep it non-genital for as long as you can. So kissing boobs while your wife is dressing up, or looking so lustily at them while she’s working on a pc or putting on nail Polish on her toes has nothing to do with sex. It’s just a switch to switch off the mind, go to something primal for that single moment. Which is why even when a couple watches porn, both get turned on at only 1 scene, a woman stretching her arms and a man or a woman kissing her nipples while she moans – the man imagines himself to be that man kissing the other woman, and the woman imagines herself to be that woman whose boobs are being kissed, though she is more in for that face which happens while being pleasured. No porn involves a man being kissed. Why would that be so? 

And which is why most men’s favourite sleeping position would be the big spoon cos then he can settle his dick in her ass, wrap what he imagines to be really strong arms whether they are little sticks or not around her waist and silently yell, yayy I am going to sleep the whole night touching boobs. The fact that that position offers easy pussy access and makes for an easy orgasm for the woman is an added bonus. 

And you know why these are important? Because there are days and there are days. There shall come weeks when all your overtures, even non-sexual touches are just brushed away. When a satisfying kiss or even a peck on the lips will not happen for weeks. At that time, the memories will help. 

It is all for a good cause, you know.